Step aside, televangelists. Black Eyed Peas' singer Fergie is here to tell you all about her chat with God. But don't worry, he only told her good things like to stop using drugs and that the FBI was not tracking her whereabouts.

Well. That doesn't sound schizophrenic at all.

Years ago, Fergie had an admitted substance abuse problem. And while sitting in a church consumed with paranoia because she was convinced a SWAT team was waiting outside for her, Fergie made a promise to the almighty.

She remembered thinking to herself, “Alright, if I go out there and the FBI and the SWAT team's not out there, then it's the drugs [talking] and I'm stopping ... I went outside of the church ... and there was no SWAT team, there was no FBI, just me and God. And I kept my promise."

Because black helicopters and tinfoil hats are just no match for the big guy in the sky.

The singer blames her past drug use on the rough expectations of fame, specifically using ecstasy and crystal meth while trying to fulfill her dream of creating a solo album before being recruited by the Peas.

The pressures of a solo career must be mighty. Maybe that explains Gwen Stefani's fascination with those Harajuku Girls -- because come on, a sane and sober mind couldn't possibly have come up with that.