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Today in Lindsay Lohan: Vindictive Cops + Poorly-Trained Assistants

Lindsay Lohan
Pool, Getty Images

It’s so hard to find good help willing to commit misdemeanors these days.

Lindsay Lohan once again finds herself in hot water (where she soaks) as the story involving the car crash she caused yet lied to police about continues to spin out of control.

We keep waiting for it to become sentient. It’s been a very long wait.

On Thursday, the story broke that her assistant Gavin supposedly admitted to the cops that despite LiLo’s claims to the contrary, Lohan was behind the wheel and he was in the passenger seat, not the other way around as she said.

This corroborates the statement the truck driver involved in the crash gave police, specifically that the troubled starlet was driving at the time of the accident.

Despite all that, Gavin is now asserting he never said any such thing to the police and they are merely out to charge Lohan with something. As though they’d really have to try that hard, seeing as how she’s charged with crap so often that she’s like a human credit card.

Lindsay is also under the belief that the cops have a vendetta against her, despite evidence or a dedication to the truth, and she’s “terrified” of going back to jail, knowing full well that “one car accident could ruin everything.”

When the cops approached Gavin, they reportedly told the assistant they knew Lohan was the one driving because of a seat-belt mark across her left shoulder after the wreck. He says all he replied to that statement was “okay.”

Supposedly, the cops took his response as a “yes” and used it to file charges against Lohan which could — but probably won’t — land her back in jail.

Gavin’s assistant training was clearly deficient. When working for Lindsay Lohan, the only words one should ever utter to authority figures are “no comment” or “she didn’t do it” or “of course there’s an actual prescription for those pills.”

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