Ryan Lochte is in a happy life phase, expecting his first baby with fiance and Playboy model Kayla Rae Reid, but things weren't always so hopeful for the Olympic swimmer. In the months following his infamous 2016 Rio Olympics scandal, Lochte tells ESPN he felt so bleak, he contemplated suicide.

One night, following a big Rio Olympics win for America, Lochte and three Team USA swimmers falsely reported they were robbed at gunpoint. There was international backlash when the truth of the incident came to light, and protests of Lochte's behavior followed the athlete onto his Dancing With The Stars stint as recently as September 2016.

In an article titled “Do You Really Still Hate Ryan Lochte?” by Allison Glock, Lochte reveals, "After Rio, I was probably the most hated person in the world. There were a couple of points where I was crying, thinking, ‘If I go to bed and never wake up, fine.’”

He continues, “I was about to hang up my life entirely.”

The top swimmer also says he doesn't fit in at the Olympics.

“Look, I was done with swimming back in 2013," Lochte explains. "I was drained, wiped out. Now I’ve found a new purpose with my son. This fire has been ignited, and it’s bigger than ever, and I’m just so excited because I know what’s going to happen in Tokyo. Everyone is going to have to watch out!”

Lochte and Reid are set to have a baby boy next month. The couple have already painted his nursery blue and gray in anticipation of the arrival.

The toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the line through TTY at 1-800-799-4889.

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