Here in East Texas, we have plenty of open space and beautiful land to spread out on. But, we also have a growing city life. Which one is better to live in and enjoy? Well, I am finding out slowly that it is a difficult question to answer. 

I have lived in a country setting for the majority of my life. Two acres of land to roam with neighboring pastures and long country roads to travel. Recently, I moved into the "city." As city as Tyler can be.

At first, I was excited to have everything so close in reach. I had once complained about the 20 minute drives home. Forget something you needed for the day? Forget it completely, you won't have time or gas enough to go back and grab it. I wanted the chance to walk or ride my bicycle to my daily activities instead of spending hours of my life behind the wheel. I know miss those rides, with the music turned up and plenty of empty road to sing along without fear of a passing car seeing me. But, this wouldn't be the last thing I missed about my country living.

There are perks and down falls to living either in the country or in the city. How do you decide which makes you happier? My list continues to grow against living in the whirling and active city. I have three things I always knew I'd miss, but now long for desperately for.

1. Space

Moyan_Brenn, Flickr

Space is not something that is readily available inside the city limits. Unless you have endless piles of money, you aren't going to be able to afford a large yard in the city.

I hate that my plants now live in countless pots on my back stairs and throughout the house. I want to run through my rows of corn and stumble through masses of tomato plants and rose bushes. Instead, I try to find a window that gets enough sunlight to feed my indoor plants.

Finding a window to house my vegetation is a major struggle for me. I want to give these guys plenty of light, but don't want strangers and neighbor to get a free show into my life. I worry every night that the window I have chosen to leave the blinds up and open to the eyes of any person that happens by is opening me up to being robbed, or worse, watched by some curious pervert. But, I make this my sacrifice.

The sacrifice of space to have plants is not the full story on this immense feeling of having my personal space constantly invaded. My neighbors are too close. They literally surround me. I have no where I can wander without seeing another human being.

I miss the freedom and peace of solitude I had nestled into the woods and fields of the country.

2. Quiet

Ian Sane, Flickr

If I have to compete to hear my own thoughts one more day, I might go crazy. Having no space between myself and the world around me has led me to start becoming very protective of the noises I want to allow into my hearing range.

I have grown an uncontrollable hatred for my neighbors foot steps above me, that she leaves her TV in one room and a radio in another blasting ALL DAY and NIGHT. I strongly dislike that the sounds of birds and crickets are drowned out by the sounds of car horns, engine flares, and brakes. I want the children of the world to have fun, but don't laugh and scream around my apartment.

I loved that I could lay in my country bedroom with the lights off and hear the wind blow, the leaves swoosh, and even the settling of the house. The outside world in invading my home from all directions. I am under a constant siege of motion and noise. And, I can't ask that it all shut up.

I want back the days that I could hear the drip, drop on the gathering water falling from the roof on to the wet leaves lying well washed on the ground.

3. Night, Flickr

The absence of complete darkness has made me feel completely detached from the natural world. I have trouble more now than ever trying to sleep. My body cannot sense the changing of the days light because 24/7 there is light.

Imagine a long day out in the hot Texas sun which you can slowly calm down from and relax by watching the light fade, the sunset make everything glitter and glow around you. Then, black. Everything is put to sleep with the wide spread darkness. This kind of darkness is not scary, it is comforting. Your body can now know it is time to rest. You don't even have to close your eyes. You are deep in the peace of night.

This is not the case in the city. Every inch and corner must be lit, which includes your bedroom. You can't escape the outside world.

You can get a larger yard, you can buy ear plugs, and you can try with black-out curtains. But, the world is forcing itself on you with such strength and power you must give in. The fatigue that is building in my soul from this distance from a more natural existence.

I want to see a deer in my yard again. I want to fall asleep in silence with lightening bugs as a night light.

Have I really given all of that up for the comfort of a two minute drive to the grocery store?