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You Too Can Lose Weight Like Jessica Simpson – If You Have Her Staff At Your Disposal

Jessica Simpson
Jamie McCarthy

Jessica Simpson lost 60 pounds post pregnancy, and it’s all thanks to Weight Watchers. And her nutritionist. And her personal trainer.

And her dietician, private chef, personal assistant and personal assistant’s personal assistant.

But, you know, mostly Weight Watchers.

TMZ unveiled the full 25-page diet plan that helped Jess shed all that unwanted baby — okay, mostly pre-baby — weight with which she’s long publicly struggled and for which she’s long been publicly mocked.

Weight Watchers paid her a giant chunk of change to say she did it using their point system, and she sort of did. Kinda.

The plan, which was set over the course of four months with help from Simpson’s private chef, included low-fat smoothies, vegetables, protein, and a whole lot of meals that are both time-consuming and costly if you’re not a celebrity with a big team at your disposal to do it all for you.

You mean you don’t have time to make yourself up to three smoothies a day because you have a real job? Or cook French toast with sprouted grain bread in the morning because you don’t know what the hell sprouted grain bread is?

Well you’ll never lose weight, work a full-time job and raise a family with THAT attitude, little lady. Jessica Simpson does it with only a live-in housekeeper and a 24-hour nanny and you don’t see HER complaining.

Now could someone please tell us the difference between “fish” and “white market fish”?

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