This is will be my third Valentine's Day with my girlfriend Amber. I'll admit, I haven't been the easiest boyfriend to deal with but she somehow loves me and we are enjoying our life together. That doesn't mean we haven't had our spats from time to time. Thing is, those spats are short lived and we learn something from it and move on. One thing we both have in common are extremely toxic ex'es. So this may be something we do with the San Antonio Zoo to help us get some harmless revenge.

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Cry Me a Cockroach

If your latest ex is someone you absolutely loath and need some extra closure to the relationship, the San Antonio Zoo is here to help. This is the third year for the fundraiser for the zoo. There are four different donation tiers with each giving you a unique, and harmless, revenge.

  • $5 Donation - Have a vegetable named after your ex. Receive a downloadable Valentine's Day Card showing your support for the Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser. You'll also receive a short video of an animal eating that vegetable. You even have the option of your ex receiving a card saying a vegetable was named after them and fed to a zoo animal.
  • $10 Donation - Have a cockroach named after your ex. Receive a downloadable Valentine's Day Card showing your support for the Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser. You'll also receive a short video of an animal eating that cockroach. You even have the option of your ex receiving a card saying a cockroach was named after them and fed to a zoo animal.
  • $25 Donation - Have a rodent named after your ex. Receive a downloadable Valentine's Day Card showing your support for the Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser. You'll also receive a short video of an animal eating that rodent. You even have the option of your ex receiving a card saying a rodent was named after them and fed to a zoo animal.
  • $150 Donation - Limited to 20 Donations - Have a personalized video message recorded showing the vegetable, cockroach or rodent named after your ex being fed to a zoo animal which you can then send to that not-so-special someone.

Get all the details on how to set all of this us at sazoo.org.

Me and My Girlfriend So Need to Do This

Forget the old school drive thru wedding radio promotions, this is the greatest Valentine's Day promotion ever. I got divorced in 2014 and I would be more than happy to add her name to a vegetable, cockroach or rodent and then watch it being devoured by a cute zoo animal. But then, I would also feel sorry for that vegetable, cockroach or rodent because they would have to carry her name.

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