Oh, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. When are those two crazy kids ever going to get together? There’s is a love story we can all relate to: she, the inexperienced college student and would-be journalist, and he, the millionaire Seattle playboy, willing to teach her in the practice of love. Would their shared appreciation for BDSM be enough to overcome their differences and help them find true love? I don’t know for sure, but based on this first teaser trailer for Fifty Shades Freed, I’m going to venture that the answer to that question is yes.
Fifty Shades of Grey was so flavorless and forgettable that I actually had to go back and look at my review to see what I thought of it. (SPOILER ALERT: I didn’t like it.) In that regard, Fifty Shades Darker is a very faithful sequel; a milquetoast continuation of a bland romance between two boring people for whom everything always seems to work out. The film goes on long enough that you begin to understand what it feels like to be punished by a self-described sadist like Christian Grey.
For most people, the decision to make a sequel to 2015’s Fifty Shades of Grey is probably the punchline to a bad joke. But have you actually stopped and looked at the box office numbers for Fifty Shades of Grey recently? We’re not talking about $100 million at the global box office; we’re not even talking about $200 million. We’re talking about $571 million worldwide, more than Mad Max: Fury Road and Creed combined and the eleventh highest-grossing movie of the year. With those kind of numbers, you pretty much have to make a sequel. I don’t blame them.
I really wish the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise would leave Beyonce’s discography alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love “Crazy in Love,” but did those lyrics really match the events of Fifty Shades of Grey? Do they express the total craziness that’s supposedly at the heart of the sequel Fifty Shades Darker? No, not at all! Case in point: this new trailer.
Hey, remember that brief, wacky moment in pop culture history when Fifty Shades of Grey dominated (sorry) the media and resulted in several awkward phone calls with your mom? Yeah? Good. You might also remember that we still have two sequels to look forward to based on E.L. James’ trilogy of erotic novels, and the teaser for the first, Fifty Shades Darker, has arrived along with a new poster that cordially invites you to the premiere of the first full trailer.