Farrah Abraham, famous teen mom of the "backdoor" variety, has finally opened up (ha!) about her life, sexual proclivities, and crippling ennui.

In the interview with Nik Richie for thedirty.com, Farrah continued to push the big lie that her well-documented sex tape scheme was actually just a private video she didn't mean to share with anyone.

“I look at it as I did my own personal thing,” she said, adding, "[James Deen]'s the one who put it out there." Which everyone knows by now really isn't true.

So why did she hire a porn star to sex her up in this super-private, not-meant-for-public-consumption video? Farrah says it was for "protection" (just not that kind of protection): "You can have an NDA [non-disclosure agreement] signed and make sure he respects your privacy."

For the record, Deen was paid a paltry $5,000 to co-star in the video (Farrah got an estimated $1.5 million).

“[You hired] a guy?" Nik asked her. "That’s not male prostitution?”

“I guess everyone is a prostitute sometimes," Farrah responded in a startling (if unintentional) admission.

Farrah got emotional when talking about her daughter Sophia's deceased father, Derek Underwood, saying he was the one true love of her life:  "It's hard for me because as the years go on I know I need to move on and find someone else. I'm young, there's no reason why I'm not dating."

A mystery, indeed. Once you put "single mother who's had anal sex on camera for cash" on your OkCupid profile, the men should just come out of the woodwork, no?

Oh, and speaking of her now famous backdoor, Farrah also detailed for Nik the first time she let a marauder invade (she was 15) and that she had sex that way long before she had regular sex. Which should probably give a little pause to all those supporters of "abstinence pledges."

Lastly, Farrah vowed to never film any more porn, but there's a whole lot more to the hour-long interview. The trick is just being able to listen to the whole thing without rolling your eyes so hard they pop out and you have to blindly chase them across the room.

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