Five Reasons the Dallas Cowboys (Not Really) Win Super Bowl LVI

The 2021 NFL season kicks off next Thursday with the Dallas Cowboys visiting the reigning Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fans will be able to be in the seats of stadiums which will make for a more exciting watch on television. And the Dallas Cowboys will win Super Bowl LVI. Okay, maybe not, but we can think of some silly reasons that they might be able to.

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High school football kicked off in East Texas last week with some great games and hopes of a state title. Can my hometown Lindale Eagles make another deep run in the playoffs? We'll see. I will certainly be cheering them on every Friday night. College football kicks off this weekend. NFL begins their season on September 9 in Tampa Bay.

I have been a Dallas Cowboys my whole life. It sucks that I was a teenager the last time they won a Super Bowl but I will always cheer on America's Team. As any fan, I have high hopes for this season. Dak is back after his horrible injury last season. The offensive line looks good. Zeke could have a good year. The defense looks to be a lot better with new coordinator Dan Quinn. I see a good year ahead.

I am not such a fan that I will scream "we're going to the Super Bowl!" before each season. But I can dream, right? So I thought I would get a little silly and give you five reasons the Dallas Cowboys win Super Bowl LVI in Los Angeles on February 13, 2022.

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1. The Cowboys offensive line will make sure to shake hands with every referee before each game and not yell at them so they won't call holding penalties when Zeke runs the ball.
2. Patrick Mahomes won't stop calling Andy Reid Wilford Brimley and is traded to the Cowboys for Stephen Jones and a couple of assistants. Jerry Jones sells the team to Mark Cuban a couple of weeks later. Coaches can finally coach again.
3. Dak Prescott is injected with some cells from Joe Montana and becomes the greatest quarterback in NFL history.
4. The Cowboys offense is nothing but Ezekiel Elliott and their other running backs running the football. Zeke rushes for 4,135 yards and the Cowboys lead the league in time of possession at 55:00 minutes a game. Cowboys win because the opposing offense can't stay on the field long enough to score.
5. The Dallas Cowboys will actually be good on both offense and defense, go 14-2 and win Super Bowl LVI 30-28 over the Kansas City Chiefs.