NOPE: Five Things Texas Dads DO NOT WANT For Father’s Day
Your Annual Reminder Ladies And Kids That Your Old Man Doesn't Want These Things On Father's Day.
Ladies, let me talk to the fellas for a quick second. Dads, its our time of the year again and you know just as well as I do that we shouldn't get our hopes up on feeling "special" on Father's Day. Go ahead and lower your expectations now so you won't be disappointed.
"Don't Nobody Care About Daddy"
Every time Father's Day rolls around, I'm reminded of this classic NSFW bit by Chris Rock on one of his earlier HBO specials that perfectly encapsulates what its like being a Father.
Which Brings Us To Father's Day And What To Get Dad.
Because men are simple creatures by nature, its very hard to shop for us for Father's Day which is why you normally see the SAME stuff annually up on shelves: Ties, socks, and tools.
A few years ago while shopping, I discovered something about "Father's Day Gifts" that really triggered me and I had to showcase what I mean in a video that's also NSFW. (Pardon my language, but I had to keep it a buck)
Notice all the gifts for US have something "work" related. By contrast, look at Mother's Day gifts, all designed to provide "rest and relaxation" or to make her "feel special". You wouldn't dare see "vacuum cleaners" or "kitchen items" under "Happy Mother's Day" displays.
Gentlemen, RECLAIM YOUR FATHER'S DAY.
Therefore gents, in an effort to help you RELAX on Father's Day, share this article with your loved ones and let them know that these are things you DO NOT WANT for Father's Day.
CLOTHING ACCESSORIES LIKE SOCKS AND TIES
Okay, this should be a no-brainer but expect it anyway gents. Family, if you want to spring on some "clothing" for Dad, get him a NEW OUTFIT OR SUIT instead of just the "accessories".
Tools And Hardware
Look, when something breaks in the house and Dad has to fix it, expect him to go get the tool he needs HIMSELF IMMEDIATELY. Garages all across East Texas are full of unused tool bags I'm sure. Besides, Father's Day SHOULD be a day of "relaxation" for us, why are you "gifting" me WORK?
Speaking Of Work, He Doesn't Need ANOTHER Barbecue Grill
Now fellas, notice how on Father's Day, our loved ones like to get us a new BBQ Grill which I'm sure you'll be appreciative of but then you spend YOUR day GRILLING FOR THEM??? This is the equivalent of asking Mom to cook on Mother's Day and surely you wouldn't DARE ask her to do that right? Don't fall for the shenanigans Dads. If you do get a new grill DON'T USE IT ON FATHER'S DAY, make them cook for you or take you out to your favorite place.
Cheesy Family Photo Frames
You know the kind I'm talking about. Those "family photos" picture frames that Mom maybe likes but Dad doesn't. Do I need to say more? Okay.
Cologne....
Unless he has a preferred favorite, don't waste your time or money on this. Most men are happy to get by with deodorant (don't gift that either) but in most cases your family will buy the scent THEY like for YOU to wear and who want to be going to work the next day smelling like "Vanilla Cinnamon Mountain Man"?
BONUS: HOOCHIE DADDY SHORTS
If you haven't heard by now, the hot trend in men's fashion this summer is "Hoochie Daddy Shorts" aka "short shorts for men". Now I'm going to keep my thoughts to myself on this one and let Miss Shirleen explain this nonsense in the video above.
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