My spouse and I have been together for 14 years, and at points along the way I've mentioned not being particularly fond of the scary parts of Halloween. So by now it should be known right?

I like the cute parts of Halloween! Like the cute, cuddlely kid costumes and the nice, harmless pumpkins.

It was a big mistake letting the spouse take the kids shopping for Halloween decorations.

We now have an enormous cob web on the front door with a rubbery black spider the size of a slipper hanging from the web. I hear there are plans for cobs webs in the tree in the front yard, and soon there will be a big witch hanging from a branch, hovering over a big fat tombstone.

Can't Mama get a cute little butterly or something?

Do you ever feel you're not being heard in your family? Or perhaps flat out ignored. Perhaps in this case, just outnumbered 4 to 1. Families are a democracy after all.

Halloween is FUN-scary I know. And that's why we hope you win your way into the Terror Nights Haunted House! Text the word TERROR to 89000 and keep listening for more. Good luck!

And feel free to add cob webs to my trees; just no toilet paper please.