Today I was minding my own business, driving to the store to get some Cheddar Cheese Chips, and I happened to look out the window to my right and saw this dude sitting on somebody's front porch with a hockey mask and a knife. It freaked me all the way out!

Seeing that made my heart jump, like, why is that man sitting on a porch looking like he's waiting for somebody to step out the front door so he could shank 'em with that knife. My mouth furled and I felt my eyebrows turn inward like Bert from Sesame Street.

I'm glad I didn't feel the urge to grab my cell phone and dial 9-1-1! That would have been quite embarrassing.

Could you have imagined what that phone call would have been like?

Emergency Operator: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?

Me: Yeah, there's a murderous-looking dude sitting on the front porch of somebody's brick house near the Walgreens close to Loop 323! Y'all better get up there quick. He looks like he's ready to pounce!

O: Ma'am, please describe the person you saw sitting on the porch.

M: Yeah, he's kind of tall, wearing a Jason Voorhies face mask. And he has a knife with blood on it. He wasn't even moving, he was just sitting there like one of those Halloween props you put outside to frighten the kids.

O: Ma'am, are you sure that wasn't what you just described, a Halloween prop?

M: I don't know! That's what I'm calling you for! Somebody might be minutes away from getting killedt!

O: Killed by a fake Jason Voorhies?

M: Yeah, y'all better go check to make sure!

Whew! Some of these neighbors are doing the MOST with these realistic Halloween decorations. And this is why I don't like people going overboard with their Halloween decorations. You are faking goofballs like me who fall for the okie-doke! 👺🎃

Please tell your neighbors to cut it out. I almost had a heart attack in the car! 😂

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